It’s a daunting day tomorrow as I’m faced with great anxiety and fears. I decided to make the most of the Public holiday today by doing what will get me most centered and grounded.
So we headed out towards the ocean as it is the ocean (and sunshine) that gives me greatest solace.
We decided to explore places we have not been before. The first stop was a beach next to a busy highway, major airport and lots of industrial buildings. Luke wanted our little one to see planes take off.
Although, I was next to the ocean, all around me was man made stuff which polluted the air and the beach I was standing on. It didn’t feel good. And with all the noise around me, there was no peace and quiet I really craved. My heart wasn’t satisfied and my mind remained agitated. I reminded myself, at least Sienna got to see something exciting.
Next, we drove to another spot next to the ocean. This place was extremely crowded with people everywhere. I didn’t want to be there. I needed to be alone or least not in a crowded place. We drove away.
I found a spot on the map which seemed to be secluded and facing the ocean. We decided to try our luck. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get to the end as the road was closed. Bugger.
We ended up following another road which led us to a short walking trail which eventually led to EXACTLY where I needed to be.
I found myself standing on cliffs facing nothing but the ocean. No buildings, no man stuff, just pure grand ocean.
We walked along the cliffs taking in the view, stopping at times to take pictures. I was feeling uplifted, calmer in the mind and more peaceful within. I was being fully present in the moment.
At one point, Luke pointed to the golf course on the far side commenting on how that spoils the natural beauty around us. I hadn’t even noticed it being so focused on the ocean side. It didn’t bother me as I continued admiring the scenery on the ocean side.
In life, we have a choice to focus on what brings us peace and not on things that take our peace away. Why not focus our attention on what brings us that peace and joy and not let other things disrupt that.
We continued walking until I came across this place hidden in the cliffs. It was a little cave like spot with no-one around. It was completely secluded. This was IT.
I sat down and looked out to the horizon with nothing but water and stormy clouds in the sky. Even though the sun wasn’t shining, I found the clouds interesting.
The waves were crashing down below, a soothing sound. I surprised myself with my fear of heights to be sitting so close to the edge (quite a drop below). The overriding feeling of peace and wonder overtook my fears.
Suddenly, a part rainbow appeared far in the distant horizon. I was god smacked with the timing. I had just quietly asked the nature in front of me to give me some sort of comfort and reassurance with the tough journey I was facing. It felt like a sign. I felt comforted.
Then as quickly as it appeared, the rainbow disappeared again. I had never experienced anything like that before. It didn’t feel like a coincidence. It left me smiling.
I could have spent forever sitting there staring at the ocean. I felt so much peace. The fears and anxiety were gone. I felt love. The unlimited, unconditional love from the ocean, the clouds, the sky, and even the wind gently blowing around me. It was exactly what I needed. I was grateful to have been led to this place.
As I turned around to walk back, I stopped and looked back once more at the ocean. At that moment, I heard a voice from deep within whisper ‘It’s ok. You are going to be OK. I am looking after you. Go forward and face tomorrow with faith’. I smiled once again. It was time to go home. I felt content. I went home with a calm mind and a happy heart.
Tomorrow as I face my fate, I’ll remind myself to have faith.
Thank you ocean. Thank you Mother Nature.